i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
