we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize