question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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