so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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