I have demons in me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
