She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
