Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
