whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't EVER smell your tampon
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
