this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
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I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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