I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
