I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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