I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
