Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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