the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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