Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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