I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
