i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.