My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
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I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
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It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.