She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.