I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
