We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
