coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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