time to smoke my breakfast
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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