I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
