I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My dick has a subreddit
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize