i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
