You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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