Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize