listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
