I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize