I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
