So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize