please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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