the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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