the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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