I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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