I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
