But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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