i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
