and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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