Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Im part way to drunk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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