elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
