I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
