brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
