I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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