it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
