Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she woke up with a sticky ear
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
