I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
