I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
