So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize