Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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