Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
