i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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