just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
