If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
