i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
