It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
