I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
