I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize