what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
